I guess it's true that it all depends on how much you want it. Of course, it's nt that easy and maybe some people just have it harder than the rest but ultimately, it still depends on you right? No one's stopping you, even if they make it difficult for you. The only person stopping you is yourself and that's called fear. We fear for alot of useless things though. Fear that it's wrong like how people might have told you. Afraid that you're nt good enough. Afraid of failing. Afraid that it's a waste of time. Fear that it might disappoint your family. Afraid of how people will look at you. Afraid to start.

Recently (or not so recently) i've been doing alot of things i want to do because i want to get out there and do it and stop finding excuses for myself. And i've been giving up alot other things which i guess never really mattered to me. Things i do to live up to expectations or things i do because i'm afraid nt to do it. We keep holding onto alot of things even when we didnt really want it because we are afraid we might in the future. I mean what the hell.

Does doing it because you really wanted it and wanting people you love to stand behind you makes you selfish? Or does doing it even if you didnt want it but not hurting the people who love you makes you stupid?

I guess failing is ok, only when it means ONLY you are affected. which does not help. at all.

SO, after you thought you have thought through it so carefully, you might end up doing the exact opposite because some things you just cant help it. AIYA Maybe we should all do it because we want to. Even if you're doing it for someone you love, do it because you want to do it for her. Cos you know, in the end, who wants to force anyone into doing anything. (imagine some one doing sth for you so unwillingly yucks) And maybe we shld just talk abt it and we'll probably be surprise of how the people you love might you knw... be supportive.. ok la maybe not. I DK.


The worse: What if you dont know what you want yet, but you know you dont want this.


I've been spending so much time just thinking abt it and at the same time, time is running out. Once again, I'm afraid that i will be too late for sth whn i finally realise it's importance blabla.. but kind of bullshit right. Define too late. If given another chance i'll probably do the same because only when you missed it you have the courage to say things like "Aiya, actually i could have..."


L i v e. (randomly typed it haha) (i've been staring at this word for too long it seems really weird like i've spelt it wrongly.) (i stared at it cause i cant figure out why i randomly typed that and i dk how to continue, hence explaining all these brackets of useless things)


Maybe if we love the people we love, we need to let them go? Really really let them go and just be there for them. HOR?!


OK I'm done talking to myself. I just decided to talk to myself here because people have been telling me how dead my blog is so yay! Actually my blog is dead for 2 reasons.
1) Internet connection lol not funny
2) I found somebody to tell almost everything to (and understands, as in rlly understand, nt in the "oh i understand" way. nvm) *puts smiley face here*